Roy: Ok peeps, here's the deal. I ain't reffin' any more cuz it ain't fun and I wanna be in the crowd forcing extra money.
Koopa Troopa: Ya *hiccup* heard the man!
Birdo: I'm not so sure about this, but… welcome to the Boxing Arena! I'm your host, Birdo, and here with me as always is Roy. Let's not forget Larry, our analyzer, Koopa Troopa, our new referee, and of course, our two opponents. But who are they? Well, they're- …uh, Roy?
Roy: Shh! You'll blow my cover! What is it?
Birdo: Roy, I can't tell the opponents apart.
Roy: Figure it out!
Birdo: Uh, ok. He first appeared in the fortresses in Mario World, but now he's making a special appearance in the Blue Corner. I give you Thwimp!
Thwimp: Get this straight yo, I ain't no wimp!
Birdo: I never thought so. And now, our champion! Let's just say he creamed his opponent last week. Will he do it again? Let's give it up for Thwomp!
Thwomp: How could you not be able to tell us apart? I'm much larger than that wimp!
Thwimp: Are you deaf, or did you just not hear that I ain't no wimp?
Birdo: Hm, well I guess Thwomp is a little bit larger, but-
Koopa Troopa: When, when we all gonna start this thin'? *burp*
Birdo: Right after this message from Larry?
Larry: Well the only difference I can see between the two opponents is that Thwomp is bigger. Since he'll cause more damage each time he attacks, he'll win.
Birdo: Interesting prediction. This week's special audience member is-
Koopa Troopa: Battle time! Fight!
Thwomp: Well it's about time!
Thwimp: It ain't about time, it's about the battle!
Birdo: OH! Uh, well it looks like Thwomp and Thwimp are bouncing around. Thwimp is faster… must weight less… and he's attacking! Uh…
Thwimp: How embarrassing.
Thwomp: Get off me!
Birdo: It seems that the two opponents' spikes are interlocked. No one's going anywhere too fast…
30 minutes later…
Koopa Troopa: Booring!
Birdo: And what's this? The referee is going out to break out the fight. But when he punches Thwomp he goes flying out of the ring! Oh well. Hey, Thwimp got knocked off though, so now they're bouncing around. …Yup, they're slamming that floor. …Uh huh, lots of pounding fun…
Two hours later…
Birdo: Lotsa… zzz
Birdo: I'm awake! Huh? What happened?
Thwimp: Ahem! Thwomp put a hole in the floor and fell in it.
Thwomp: Hey, I'm still alive here! I'm- ouch! Who put that ceiling there?
Birdo: Uh, in the absence of a ref…
Koopa Troopa: Spz…
Birdo: I guess Thwimp wins!
Thwimp: Uh huh!
Birdo: Unfortunately, our spectator of the week is Blooper.
Blooper: What? That's gotta be a mistake!
Roy: Ha ha!
Roy pulls a lever.
Blooper: Blagadblagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiblag! End transmission!