Thwimp: Oor! I'm the all-powerful Thwimp, and I'll be hosting the action here at Roy's Boxing Arena.
Roy: Only because I let you!
Thwimp: Oor! One of the two fighters in the ring today will walk away as the champion, but the other will leave with bruises.
Luigi: Haha- ouch!
Thwimp: Let's meet the fighters. In the Blue Corner, weighing in at a mere 2 pounds, a member of the original Koopa Troop, it's Blooper.
Thwimp: In the Red Corner, it's this week's champion. Weighing in at a pathetic 15 pounds and with a voltage of 10,000 Joules, it's Jelectro.
Thwimp: And of course, here as always is Larry to analyze who will win.
Larry: I don't think it's going to matter because we might just fall asleep again… these guys can't even talk! But, uh, Blooper doesn't stand a chance because one electric shock oughta kill him. So Jelectro will win.
Thwimp: Whatever. Our spectator of the week is… Dave Phaneuf.
Dave Phaneuf, who is busily playing his Game Boy, is oblivious to the battle or that his name has been called.
Dave Phaneuf: Yeah! I just killed Mario!
Roy: What game is that?!
Thwimp: …Okay… well now to the battle. Fighters ready? Be-
Koopa Troopa: Hey! I'm not drunk today! Fighters *hic* ready? Dance!
Koopa Troopa: Or fight, whichever you prefer.
Thwimp: Here comes perhaps the lamest battle in the history of Roy's Boxing Arena, folks. Well Jelectro's not moving and Blooper isn't moving very fast either since there is no water… actually he should probably be dead then, but he is pulling himself over the floor.
Ten minutes later…
Larry: Not smart.
Thwimp: That, folks, was the sound of a frying Blooper. Yup, one bump into Jelectro destroyed him. Well I guess Roy will be pulling that lever now.
Koopa Troopa: Keep battling I say! Hm… that tastes kind of good!
Larry: Say, where is Roy?
Roy: Wow, this is a good game!
Dave Phaneuf: Yeah, but wait until you see this one.
Larry: I guess Dave managed to escape getting shocked.
Thwimp: Blooper got shocked… the fool can't talk though.
Koopa Troopa: Hey, what does this button do?
Larry: Stop you fool!
Koopa Troopa: Blagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiblagadiblag! End transmission!