Hammer Bro: Welcome to-
Roy: Hey! I get to speak first!
Hammer Bro: Sorry.
Roy: Hmph! Welcome back! I know you're ungrateful, but I still love your money anyway. I have with me Hammer Bro, who will be announcing for a while. Pokey will be the ref again… he's better there anyway.
Hammer Bro: …Now?
Hammer Bro: Ok! When I announce the competitors, will they please give a quote? In the Red Corner, it's Birdo!
Birdo: You're all just too cute!
Hammer Bro: Thanks! Um, in the Blue Corner, we have Ostro!
Hammer Bro: And… um… (looks at notes) here's Larry with his analysis!
Larry: Thank you, Roy, for letting me back in without killing me. I predict that Birdo will win, because she… erm, he, was a boss character. Birdo is best for transportation.
Roy: And we have a new feature tonight! I will choose an audience member at random. If Larry's analysis is right, I will refund their ticket price. But if Larry is wrong, he will find his chair a bit electrified. So! Who's in seat BA97?
General Guy: Well tallyho, it's me!
Roy: Right. Now let's get to the battle.
Hammer Bro: Ostro takes off running! She seems to be taunting Birdo too.
Ostro: Brah brah!
Hammer Bro: Birdo can't seem to match Ostro's terrific pace, but that doesn't mean she's done. Fire one with an egg! But it misses.
Birdo: That could have become a little Birdo!
General Guy: Come now, Birdo! Show your power!
Hammer Bro: And the crowd's really into it! Ostro charges into Birdo and the two bounce off each other. And Birdo fires an egg and Ostro's down! It appears being knocked back reduced her speed and she was unable to avoid the egg. She is struggling to get up.
Ostro: Brah! Brah! Braaah!
Hammer Bro: Here comes the ref!
Hammer Bro: And Birdo won easily! Birdo, how does it feel to win?
Birdo: I haven't felt this good since I found my feminine side!
Roy: Let's not go there. Well General Guy, looks like you're in luck.
General Guy: And of course!
Larry: I was right?! Woah!
Roy: Birdo, who do you challenge for next week?
Birdo: I will battle Ostro for trying to take my name.
Roy: Can't. You battled him this week already.
Birdo: Oh… then Valentina, for locking me up.
Hammer Bro: Looks like next week we'll have an unbalanced match between Birdo and Valentina. We'll see you then!
Larry: Don't be so sure! I hear Valentina is out of practice lately.
Roy: Go away!